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Belief and Our Coping Skills
listed in holistic psychotherapy, originally published in issue 207 - June 2013
For over 20 years I have practised as a Psychotherapist and Hypnotherapist. In my initial training I was taught that when a client comes to my office the issues they bring are most commonly symptoms created by their perception of the world and the people around them.
In order to identify the source of the presenting problem I ask myself the question “Why does it make sense that a person lives in the way that they do?” So many times I am confronted with the answer “Because that is what they believe about themselves or the world around them” The beliefs that we develop produce injunctions; an injunction is a definitive statement which does not necessarily have any basis in fact. E.g. “all men/women are untrustworthy”, “who would look at me” and so on. If a child has parents who are very protective, they may develop the belief that they are able to do anything and not experience any restrictions “I am wonderful”. I have worked with many young people that came in to this category and have found that their ability to handle the normal setbacks of life is very ill formed; their coping skills are underdeveloped. The figure below which is part of a larger body of work indicates some of the factors influencing us in our developmental years.
One of the results of the above is self-esteem issues which culminate in difficulty to cope. This commonly leads to trauma. We associate the word trauma with an accident, physical assault or similar event, especially with the regard to the uniformed services. However, having been studying post traumatic shock and associated issues for the last ten years I firmly believe that trauma may occur when our ability to cope is overwhelmed; even parents fighting to hold their family together in severe financial circumstances may experience trauma. Under these conditions relationships may become damaged, even destroyed.
As a result of this I find that it has regularly become helpful to facilitate changes on a basic emotional level which strengthen the ability to cope and thus enable the client or clients to develop a more positive self-image which makes it more possible to manage and move on from the events which created the effects of this classification of trauma.
Having said that the perception of themselves and the world around them is frequently at the centre of feelings of trauma, my method of facilitation may commence with a process of boosting or supporting the fragile ego created by mistaken belief. From this I work towards enabling the client/s to recognize that the world consists of good and bad and that the real importance lies in the ability to understand that this truth is based on fact and that one does not have to dwell solely on the negatives in life because they do pass.
Further Information
Bill Bliss regularly deliver seminars and tutorials on this subject; if any practising therapist would like more information please contact him on Tel: 0124546414; positive_health@msn.com
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