Positive Health Online

by   Emma Lane ND DIP NT Master NLP Practitioner AFAA International Personal Trainer and Fitness Counsellor ITEC

Are you happy?

Sometimes, always, never?

A dictionary definition of happy is:

“A state of well-being and contentment, pleasurable or satisfying experience”.

Some more insightful definitions from astute individuals are

• “Happiness is not something ready-made it comes from your own actions”
  Dalai Lama
• “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony”. Mahatma Gandhi
• “Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence. Happiness depends upon ourselves”. Aristotle

Personally, I like to use a mix of these definitions and each of us will have our own understanding of what being happy is for ourselves. However, society, mainstream and social media would have us believe that happiness is something we should be feeling the majority of the time and if not, you should buy it or do an activity to achieve it! This unfortunately then contributes to us not feeling happy because of the expectations placed on us to be happy!

Happiness is not a destination; it is a journey. It's a state of being that originates from within us, independent of external achievements or possessions. When we set our happiness on future events or external validations, we give away our power to circumstances beyond our control. Instead, we must cultivate happiness as an intrinsic part of our daily lives.

Our thoughts, attitudes, and beliefs shape our perception of the world and determine our emotional state. By focusing on positive thoughts and nurturing a mindset of gratitude and contentment, we can create a foundation for happiness that supports us in all aspects of life.

So, what does research suggests leads to happiness. According to Martin Seligman, the father of positive psychology, it is a combination of

• Genetics
• How satisfied you are with your life
• How good you feel on a day-to-day basis.

Seligman states that 50% of our happiness is determined by our genes, 40% by our daily activities and the remaining 10% by our circumstances.

It’s interesting that, our general happiness is more genetically determined than anything else, or is it?

With your consistent effort, can the genetic effect be adapted?

If you maintain a behaviour then you'll maintain the changes and the new regimen becomes part of your everyday life. If you go back to the way you used to do things, then the benefits you experienced generally disappear.

Simply, you have the ability to control how you feel – and with consistent practice, you can form life-long habits for a more satisfying and fulfilling life.

So Yes, We Really can Train Ourselves to be Happier!

Is the outcome worth the effort?

What the Research shows is that happy people have

• Lower rates of cardiovascular disease
• Lower heart rate
• They have better immunity
• Lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol
• They heal faster after injuries
• They are more likely to have a healthy diet
• Happiness helps create balanced relationships
• Happy people make more money and are more productive at work
• They are more generous
• They cope better with stress and trauma
• They are more creative and are better able to see the big picture.
• Therefore, happiness is good for our heath: Happy people are less likely to get sick, and they live longer. So, I would say its defiantly worth the time and effort.

We Can't Change Our Genes, But We Can Change Ourselves!

Our happiness level is a result of a complex interaction of genes, behaviours, and what's going on in our lives at a specific moment in time. While each of us has a genetic set point for happiness in the way we do for weight, we have the ability to offset it.

Scientific research proves that you have the power to take control of your happiness by choosing your thoughts, behaviours, and actions. Research into the types of practices designed to promote positive emotional qualities, such as kindness and mindfulness, suggests that these qualities are a product of skills we can learn through training and practice.

Over time, we can build lasting habits that increase our resilience and improve our happiness levels.

A positive mindset fosters resilience, creativity, and a sense of well-being. It enables us to navigate challenges with grace and maintain a hopeful outlook, regardless of the circumstances. This doesn't mean ignoring difficulties or pretending everything is perfect. Rather, it's about choosing to focus on the positive aspects of life and finding meaning and purpose in our experiences.

Research has shown that individuals who cultivate a positive mindset are more likely to experience better mental and physical health, stronger relationships, and greater overall satisfaction with life. This is because a positive outlook encourages the production of neurotransmitters such as serotonin and dopamine, which are essential for mood regulation and overall happiness.

To manifest the life you desire, you must first embody the qualities and emotions you wish to attract. If you want to experience joy, success, and love, you need to cultivate these feelings within yourself. This internal work involves practices such as mindfulness, meditation, and self-reflection, which help us connect with our inner selves and develop a deeper understanding of our true desires and values.

Mindfulness teaches us to be present in the moment and appreciate the here and now. It allows you to observe your thoughts and emotions without judgment, creating space for positive transformation. Meditation helps quiet the mind, reduce stress, and enhance self-awareness, making it easier to align your internal state with your external goals.

Consistency, Time and Effort Will Need to be Applied

Contrary to popular belief, unless you are one of the few who won the genetic lottery and are naturally happy, it takes regular effort to maintain happiness. It is consistency that creates happiness as a doable option. Keeping a daily gratitude journal, is a habit, not a one-shot event, and most life events that make us happy in the short-term, like getting married or being promoted, fade over time as we adapt to them.

Happiness is like any other skill it requires regular practice and attention however it is not difficult to acquire happiness skills.

Five key happiness skills to acquaint yourself with are:

• Savouring
• Thanks
• Aspire
• Give
• Empathize

Savour

Savouring is a quick and easy way to boost optimism and reduce stress and negative emotions. It's the practice of being mindful and noticing the good stuff around you, taking the extra time to prolong and intensify your enjoyment of the moment, making a pleasurable experience last for as long as possible. So, whether it's enjoying a hug, pausing to admire the sunset, or telling a friend your good news-the idea is to linger, take it in, and enjoy the experience.

Research by Dr. Fred Bryant, who coined the term “savouring,” shows that those who regularly and frequently savour are happier, more optimistic and more satisfied with life.

Bryant describes savouring as three-fold

• Savor the past (by reminiscing)
• Savor the future (through positive anticipation)
• Savor the present (by practicing mindfulness).

There are many savouring techniques – find the ones that work for you, for example

• Concentrating on the activity you are participating in fully, no distractions such as your phone pinging!
• Savouring the experience with other people.
• Incorporating humour.
• Writing about the experience.

Thanks

Thinking about everything you have to appreciate can boost your happiness and your overall sense of well-being, according to psychologists.

Feeling and expressing gratitude can make you happy in the moment-

• Think back to the joy you felt the last time you spent fun times with family or friends or when a friend helped you out.
• It gives us optimism and self-confidence, knowing that others are there for us.
• It dampens our desires for “more” of everything – and it deepens our relationships with loved ones.
• When we express our gratitude to someone, we get kindness and gratitude in return.

In studies led by Dr Martin Seligman, people have written gratitude letters to someone they've never properly thanked, and seen immediate increases in happiness and decreases in depressive symptoms.

The practice of gratitude can increase happiness levels by around 25%. A growing amount of evidence shows giving thanks can have a lasting effect on your mood.

One study from the University of Pennsylvania found that people who wrote and delivered a heartfelt thank you letter actually felt happier for a full month after, and the same researchers discovered that writing down three positive events each day for a week kept happiness levels high for up to six months.

How To Cultivate a Growing Sense of Gratitude and its Positive Side-Benefits

The tools used by psychologists in research studies, are gratitude journals and thank-you notes. They are recognized as the best tools for boosting gratitude both in and out of the lab. By writing down positive things that happen to you, and actively acknowledging those who have helped you, you become better at recognizing the good in your life, which naturally helps you feel more grateful and thankful more often.

The actual goal isn't to have a notebook full of your declarations of gratitude, but rather to make gratitude a default feeling. According to researchers at Eastern Washington University, there are four primary characteristics of grateful people, and these are the ones that thank-you notes and a gratitude journal can help tap into, strengthen, and invigorate.

People who experience the most gratitude and therefore the positive effects tend to:

• Feel a sense of abundance in their lives
• Appreciate the contributions of others to their well-being
• Recognize and enjoy life's small pleasures
• Acknowledge the importance of experiencing and expressing gratitude

Whether or not these attitudes come to you naturally, paying attention to life's positives can train you to see more and more of them, which will help you learn to be more grateful.

You might feel grateful that good weather allowed you to get out for an afternoon walk, that you made it to work on time, that a friend lent a helping hand, or that your kids offered to do the dishes.

Acknowledge these things on paper, with words and in your thoughts and in turn this will help you cultivate an attitude of gratitude and with it, a boost in happiness that will last.

Aspire

Feeling hopeful, having a sense of purpose, being optimistic. Study after study shows that people who have created meaning in their lives are happier and more satisfied with their lives. Genuine optimism makes your goals seem attainable and your challenges easier to overcome. You'll not only feel more successful; you'll be more successful.

Your level of hope correlates with how well you perform tasks. Studies have found using your strengths in daily life, reduces stress and increases self-esteem and vitality. Another study found that participants who were asked to imagine their future in an optimistic light increased their levels of happiness over the following six months.

Believing that your goals are within reach promotes a sense of meaning and purpose in life – a key ingredient of happiness.

Give

When you give someone something, you generally make them happier. However, what you might not realize is that the giver – not the receiver reaps even more benefits. Many studies show that being kind not only makes us feel less stressed, isolated and angry, but it makes us feel considerably happier, more connected with the world, and more open to new experiences.

In a famous study, Dr Sonja Lyubomirsky asked students to commit five random acts of kindness each week for six weeks. The control group experienced a reduction in well-being, those who engaged in acts of kindness showed a 42% increase in happiness. We are happier when we spend money on other people than when we spend money on ourselves. A 2006 study found that simply reflecting on nice things we've done for other people can lift our mood.

Research from Dr. Stephen Post, who is a pioneer in the study of altruism and compassion shows that when we give of ourselves, everything from life satisfaction to self-realization and physical health is significantly affected.

• Mortality is delayed.
• Depression is reduced.
• Well-being and good fortune are increased.

Empathize

Empathy is the ability to care about others, to imagine and understand the thoughts, behaviours or ideas of others, including those different from ourselves. If you care about the relationships in your life – learning the skill of empathy has enormous benefits.

When we empathize with people, we become less judgmental less frustrated, angry or disappointed and we develop patience. We also solidify the bonds with those closest to us. Unsurprisingly, when we really listen to the points of view of others, they're very likely to listen to ours. Strong relationships are essential to happiness, according to Drs Ed Diener and Martin Seligman, and practicing empathy will go far in nurturing the relationships in your life.

Professor of psychology, Richard Davidson, showed that compassion is a skill that we can all learn.

He says the brain is constantly changing in response to environmental factors, and this also extends to compassion for the self.

Research by Dr. Kristin Neff, suggests that people who have more self-compassion lead healthier, more productive lives than those who are self-critical.

How to Create Ongoing Happiness

• Aim for Calm and Contentment.

While it's impossible and undesirable for you to maintain the level of excitement you feel when a positive event first happens, you can transform your initial “activated” feelings like joy and enthusiasm into more “deactivated” emotions like calm and contentment that are easier and healthier to sustain.

• Mix it Up, Constantly

When you find a happiness boosting technique that works for you, try and change the method you use each time. For example, if savouring works really well for you, sadly, you can only savour the exact same piece of chocolate cake so many times before you get bored of it, so you'd want to find new and different things to savour, in different locations, with different people. The same is true for gratitude. If you meditate on your gratitude for the same person every day, you'll get weary of it, and the exercise will stop working.

When you do gratitude activities, be sure to recognise and acknowledge a variety of things, people, places etc you think about so the activity continues to work for you. It’s also a good idea to do more than one type of activity. A study found that happiness app users who used several different methods benefited more than people who spent the same amount of time, but only on one method.

• Focus Your Attention on People and Experiences, Not Physical Possessions

Research shows that while there are many different roads to happiness, every single one of those roads involves other people. This makes sense when you think about – mixing it up. Hedonic adaptation happens when you do something the same way every time. A new watch, for example, just sits on your wrist – there’s no way to make it any more or less exciting than it is. People, on the other hand, are different every time you interact with them, so it’s much harder to adapt to them, especially if you change the things you do with them. It is possible to get in a rut with someone- however there are also countless possibilities when it comes to new ways to experience a person.

Let’s Not Forget Laughter

Laughter strengthens your immune system, boosts your energy, diminishes pain, and protects you from the damaging effects of stress. This priceless medicine is fun, free, and easy to use.

Humour and playful communication strengthen our relationships by triggering positive feelings and fostering emotional connection. When we laugh with one another, a positive bond is created. This bond acts as a strong buffer against stress, disagreements, and disappointment. Incorporating more humour and play into your daily life can improve the quality of your relationships

Be more spontaneous

• Humour gets you out of your head and away from your troubles.
• Humour lets go of defensiveness.
• Laughter helps you forget judgments, criticisms, and doubts.
• Laughter releases inhibitions.
• Fear of holding back and holding on are set aside.
• You can express your true feelings.
• Deeply felt emotions rise more easily to the surface.

Consistency is Key so Create a Daily Practice Around Enjoyment

On waking, ask yourself, “What do I look forward to most today?”

At the end of your day, ask yourself, “What was the most enjoyable part of my day and why?"

Document your Enjoyment Practices

• Each night, write down one thing you enjoyed about your day on a slip of paper, and drop it in a jar.
• A year from now, empty the jar and re-read the slips. This method has a double benefit: not only do you get to dwell on your enjoyment every day, but you can relive it all at once, long after the fact.
• Put a reminder on your phone, computer or calendar that reminds you to enjoy whatever is most important in your life. Use photos, pictures, positive affirmations, note anything that rekindles positive feelings and reminds you of your happy balance. Create happy vision boards, use pictures, words and sayings that create an attitude of gratitude when you view it.

The Role of Technology in Cultivating Happiness

In today's fast-paced world, technology can play a crucial role in helping us cultivate happiness and well-being. Tools like the BrainTap Headset and App are designed to enhance mental clarity, reduce stress, and promote relaxation, making it easier to develop a positive mindset and create happiness as a habit.

I personally include BrainTap as a part of my daily happiness practice, we utilise them in clinic and many of my clients felt the benefits and loved it so much they bought their own headset for use at home. If you are interested in purchasing a headset, please email office@energizemindbody.com 

Studies have shown that regular use of BrainTap can lead to significant improvements in sleep quality, performance, and mindset. Users have reported a 48% improvement in sleep quality, a 26% increase in performance, and a 41% increase in positive mindset. By incorporating BrainTap into your daily routine, you can harness its benefits to achieve your personal and professional goals while cultivating a deeper sense of happiness and well-being.

How does it do this?

BrainTap combines guided visualization, binaural beats, and isochronic tones to help users achieve a meditative state where the brain can function optimally. It employs light therapy to stimulate appropriate brain activity and enhance the overall relaxation experience. This state of deep relaxation and heightened awareness is known as the "alpha" state, characterized by brainwaves in the alpha frequency range. In this state, the brain is more receptive to learning, creativity, and problem-solving.

In Summary

There are many things you can do to support yourself in the current challenging times we all face, to empower yourself and take the steps you need to find your happiness.

Hopefully you have gained some ideas/ tools to start your happiness evolution, keep it simple and consistent and you will reap the rewards of feeling happier, calmer and balanced.

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