Positive Health Online

Heidi Rossanne Keep - 11th August 1958 - 10th August 2017

My Most Beautiful Woman

Simon writes

Heidi was my woman: my lover, my partner, business partner in Aquarius, mother to my daughter, Rhiannon and son, Reubyn.  And she was much more as well. A multi-faceted woman who sparkled as an artist, actor, healer, scientist, singer, teacher and much more.  I had the honour of knowing her intimately for 20 years so perhaps could be considered the one who knew her the best.  But there was so much more to Heidi than I ever knew.

She found no difficulty in moving between the arts and the sciences because she excelled in accepting all people for who they were and what they believed.  Such an accepting person; part of her wisdom.  She never gave me any grief, even when I was behaving stupidly.

She was a multi-disciplined complementary therapist and teacher and 5 years ago she completed her degree in Fine Arts.  But you wouldn’t have known that because she never blew her own trumpet.  She was completely un-egotistical.  She weaved her unassuming beauty and grace through large and small social circles, touching the lives of many. 

Heidi, when I first met her.  August 1997

We’ve received so many cards of sympathy and support - thank you. So many of you wrote,  “such a lovely lady” in your card; “gentle soul”.  She was lovely because at her centre was love.  And that love within her spread well beyond her heart to touch the hearts of so many she met.  The love in Heidi’s heart was not only pure but wise.  Pure, wise, love.  That was Heidi.  I never knew her once speak ill of anyone.  The actions of a wise and loving person.   In our home she was a bit of an angel, although Rhiannon might disagree with me on this one.

On her birthday last year Heidi received her diagnosis: thymic cancer, a very rare form.  Her thymus gland had grown and was impacting on her left lung.  After three operations to save her lung she was resigned to only having one functioning.  However, the cancer started to impact on her heart and when she had 300 ml of fluid drained from her pericardium she was rapidly approaching the end of her life here on mother Earth.

Losing Your Marbles

This life-size ceramic head was made during her fine arts degree course in response to the theme of mental illness. Heidi worked in many different mediums.

Heidi wasn’t knocked down by the number 39 bus, it felt more like a train, off in the distance, light blazing in front.  It’s bound to stop before it reaches us but it didn’t and one year later it shoots past my right face and takes Heidi with it.  So we had exactly one year knowing that fact. Not I, I denied it, but Heidi always knew she would die young.  I said to Heidi, “you are in sacred time, walking close to the edge.”  “Is that what you call it” was her reply.  Never once during that year did she show me her fear, a small amount of tears close to the end but she dealt with facing her death with such courage, bravery, resilience and spiritedness.  Even when the doctor told her she only had days left to live she never gave up hope.  She was still planning her birthday party the day before she died. We decided to hold it anyway; she wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.  Only one couple turned up not knowing she had passed over.  Heidi would have liked that, she had a humorous approach to the macabre. 

Being close the day before she died

During the last year, her sacred year, she has touched so deeply the hearts of others.  She became precious to us all.  Particularly towards the end I just wanted to touch her all the time.  For the kids, suddenly she wasn’t just mum in the kitchen but a very special, selfless person.  You don’t know what you’ve got until you lose it but we all had Heidi for one more year to appreciate her even more. Many have spoken of how profoundly moved and inspired they were to be in her presence during this period of her life.  She was always a radiant being but during her last year this increased.  An incredible woman who lives on in spirit.  I feel her presence so strongly.  I was talking to someone about the tears of grief and told him that sometimes I can make them into tears of joy; joy because she is still so present in my life, in spirit. Our relationship has changed: she is no longer at my side but above me instead.

For this reason I've decided not to remove Heidi's image from our Practitioner Service on our website as I have found that she is working with me from spirit.  As I dowse through our remedies her spirit draws close and I have discovered her consciousness inputting into the dowsing, making my dowsing quicker, crisper, clearer and hopefully more accurate.

Our son, Reubyn, wrote this for the funeral address.  It blew me away when he read it out in front of the packed church.

It was Thursday the 10th of august, around 11am. waking I was from my teenage slumber as a yawn manages to escape me. Footsteps ascend the stairs hastily. with squinted eyes and only a blanket separating me from the outside world, my sister swiftly sweeps through my door. "go down stairs" she utters. "why?" I enquire, "just go down stairs".

In a blur I dress and drift through the house to the dining room, and just like that I was a cosmic cushion absorbing all that was. no emotion, not sad, not happy nor confusion. only acceptance and honour I felt being in the same space as her. A compassionate master, who was so selfless, with the most beautiful smile which raised everyone's spirits. My teacher, so precious yet so fragile.

The family ensembles. Rhiannon holding one hand and I the other. she lies in Simon's arms, head resting on his chest. We start to massage her tired worn out body, murmurs and moans steadily, gently come to a halt.

amongst the chaos, a sense of calm and lack of separation covers me. she was in such a state of acceptance with an overwhelming sense of presence. not a single grain of fear she had.

water drops, ripples of thought, ever present. clinging to a branch, solid ground below, let go and stand tall. warm sunlight permeates the window, she baths in it. such a gift it was for her to experience that priceless moment one more time. just like the scenery of spring; nothing is better, nothing is worse; the flowering branches just are; some long, some short.

surrounded by ones who love her, not loved, LOVE her; unconditionally as she does for all of us.

her breathing gradually slows, her soul opens. what a way to go, such a state of bliss and awe. with her last breath and her final seconds on this earth. time stands still. so give it love, to all beings, come with me and let's all fly away.

A characteristic piece of Heidi's art work using reclaimed material

For two months now, a month before and a month after her death it has been like standing on the beach with massive waves crashing over me. Life has been incredibly intense on my emotional and spiritual levels. However, there are moments of calm when I have time to reflect upon matters, connect some of the things together. A while ago, whilst sorting through her papers I came across a letter - Congratulations, I am pleased to inform you that you have passed your Shiatsu Society Theory exam with 98%.  Very Good!  I’ve come to realize and appreciate how well she applied her considerable talents with due diligence to all aspects of her life. She was such a good girl and such a good woman.  She passed her incarnation with flying colours, an exclamation mark!

One of the first connections I made was how much her death was like her giving birth - me, her and the kids.  Then I realized it was her birth into spirit.  Her own birth into flesh was quite different; she was severely premature but her birth into spirit was perfect, being held in the arms of the ones you love.  Her final example of a lesson perfectly learnt.  Her life complete.  As she lay against me I felt her leave her body, through my chest, my heart and up out into heaven. This went on for perhaps five or ten minutes, I don’t know, time distorted.  I kept saying, “You are beautiful,” as I cried down the side of her neck and stroked her head.  What I meant was, your death is beautiful.

I visited the church before her funeral and spoke to the warden.  He talked about how some are already in heaven before they die.  Heidi, I thought, fast tracked: off to the angel academy; she honed her angelic skills here on earth; a perfect candidate. Sorting through her beautiful clothes I felt her spirit radiating from one of her gold tops. Gold of Leo, gold of the Sun.  Heidi with the Angels of the Sun, learning and practising the trade for her family, friends and many others, I am sure.

Acknowledgement Citation

Republished with permission from www.facebook.com/search/top/?q=aquarius%20flower%20remedies

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