Positive Health Online

I remember the shock and yet not total surprise when a cancerous lump appeared eight years ago in my left breast. Yes, it had been a tough few years with grief, shocks, excitements, working too hard and a few unresolved inner conflicts that I could not longer cope with – no wonder my strength eventually gave out and forced me into a life-saving journey.

It was January 1996. I was having a warm relaxing shower, when I felt an itch on the side of my left thigh, and another in my left breast. It was there I discovered the lump. All my pressures were off and I was at the point of absolute relief and feeling so much better, so I really thought that in time, it would just go away. Well, it didn't, it continued to grow. Eight months later I finally went to the doctors.

After several mammograms and biopsies, I was diagnosed with malignant invasive ductal carcinoma requiring immediate mastectomy and chemotherapy. Following the initial shock, a part of me felt a strange kind of excitement. Now I would have to make those necessary changes in my life. It was a time like no other to do all those things I really wanted to do and let myself feel so completely happy, and healthy that I couldn't possibly stay ill. Today, nine years later, I have had no surgery, chemotherapy or orthodox treatment of any kind, I lead an extremely fulfilling life, am vibrantly happy and healthy, and my tumour, though still visible on my breast, apart from giving me the occasional twinge – is history.

I remember, as we walked back from the hospital, my husband Terry saying,"Jen, whatever it is you want me to do I'll do it" and I said something ridiculous like, "Could you take care of mealtimes?" That was one weight off my mind, and my children Joe and Amy, aged 15 and 13, were wonderfully supportive with words such as, ''If anyone can do it, you can Mum''. I felt free to do all that I needed.

During my years as a laboratory technician researching and administering chemotherapy drugs to animals, I noticed that those receiving extra love and care always thrived better. So when I had my children I followed a love and natural health care route. I used Reflexology and trained as a Homeopath. With these experiences I felt able to set about discovering why, what to do, how it could cure my illness and prevent it returning.

My Search for a Cure

I already knew you didn't catch cancer, you develop it, and that I needed more than relief treatments. Good complementary health treatments help you to keep well and I probably would not have got sick in the first place if I had used them during my difficult times, but now I needed much more than that. It was necessary to find treatments as drastic as the disease that would not only invigorate every cell in my body, but would access the actual problem and totally resolve it.

I searched and searched for someone who had healed their cancer in this way. I found plenty who had changed their lives during or after conventional treatment but none that had taken the complete health route. I just wanted to hear someone say, "It's a tough journey, though beautiful, but it can be done, and I wish you well". I found no-one.

My parents and grandparents had died of cancer. I had to stop it, for both myself and my children. I thought back to my training as a Homeopath and the basic laws of nature which apply to every walk of life, and I made a plan.

• I would unravel and change all the things that led up to it;
• Release myself from anything or anyone that might get in the way of my overcoming it;
• Identify exactly what had been affecting me so badly;
• Take only treatment that addressed those relevant issues;
• Enjoy all those experiences I longed for till I felt fully alive again.

So, I wrote to my surgeon and explained. When he could see I wasn't in denial, he wished me well. Two months later, I went to the Bristol Cancer Clinic and was delighted to find that I was already doing all the things they suggested.

My Regime

I halved my workload and welcomed help and friendships like never before, allowing myself to enjoy relaxing and laughing, and paid great attention to my diet. I decided to detox my mind, body and spirit. There was not so much information around then. So I experienced everything I could find; I left no stone unturned. I have some incredible stories about the things that have happened, and the wonderful people I met. I followed my instincts like there was no tomorrow, and each step of the way, I felt progress.

I considered the Gerson therapy, and felt dismayed at the thought of 13 juices a day, five coffee enemas and little life outside for that. So I made a modified version, which wasn't too expensive but still involved enemas, an extraordinary number of juices, and windowsills full of interesting sproutings. I soon felt very pure, and looked radiant. Dr Hulda Clark1 claims that all diseases are caused by parasites, so I did her well-known parasite regime and to make doubly sure made up an interesting extra bit. I fasted, which challenges the body's lines of resistance; around day four, took an interesting concoction as an enema, then drunk some and stood on my head! The digestive track is long and I was determined the herbal purging mixture would meet in the middle. To my horror and excitement, two enormous half starved round worms expelled themselves. Of course I did more after that.

I felt I turned myself inside out. I received homeopathic treatment from cancer specialist Dr Ramakrishnan, reflexology, lymphatic drainage remedies and massage, spiritual healing, made my own autopathic remedies (potentized body fluids), used Dr Hulda Clark's parasite zapper and herbs, did many many fasts and cleanses, saw psychic surgeons, took B17, essiac, melatonin, still use urine therapy, Dr D'Adamo's blood group2 diet for 'A' types, and meridian energy psychology techniques. I must sound like a crank, but I didn't know which were necessary until I used them. I enjoyed them all too, I was being nurtured like never before.

As I became more aware of myself, I noticed that my tumour would throb or twinge if I hadn't opened my bowels regularly when away from home or anxious. To my amazement I found this correlated with Dr Bernard Jensen's work.3 His diagrams illustrate the connections between parts of the colon to particular organs of the body and he explains that if the colon is clogged with encrusted faecal matter, it impairs functions of the relevant organ. So, following yet another week's juice-fast, I did his suggested bowel cleanse and passed yards of what looked like knotted inner tubing that must have been there for years. I was also fascinated that as it came out I noticed flashbacks of past negative feelings, so I was shedding those too. I had often noticed that the left side of my thigh was tender to touch. I'd had a thorn stuck there for years, and discovered that as well as it being on the large intestine meridian, it is also a direct link to the lymphatic drainage area for the breast.4 So amongst my daily regime of cleansing drinks, vitamins and supplements, yoga, meditation, etc., I included skin brushing for lymphatic congestion.

I relaxed my mind a lot more and entered new worlds of the arts, love, the beautiful stillness of meditation and hearted centred and spiritual ventures.

• Looking back, no wonder I'd got sick. Years of burning the candle at both ends, ongoing feelings of despair with seemingly no-solution situations, had always suppressed tears. Numerous knocks to the breast, using the computer for long periods at night, congestion from a tight under-wired bra, constipation, extensive use of mobile phone, frustrations with work, nursing my Mum till she died of cancer and then a few shocks and disappointments.
• I could also see I had too many commitments, which I always took seriously and didn't always allow myself the freedom to say 'no' and really enjoy myself. No-one really knew how I felt; I always appeared happy and smiling.
• It was the impact of the shocks and disappointments that I still had to overcome and at that time did not know how.
• Physically, apart from two similar 'burnouts' – glandular fever in my teens and hepatitis in my 20s – both preceded by mental, emotional and physical exhaustion, I had always kept fit and well, never even had a cold. So I knew that the energy medicines that focussed mostly on the mental, emotional side were what would save me.
• I made radical changes to my personal life and relationships, and became liberated and fulfilled.

My Healing Journey

I read that normal cells are organized with a focus, attend to the needs of the particular organ, and kill off enemy cells in order to achieve their task.5 I realized that I was not like that, so no wonder my cells were not either. There had been years of very busy chaos, rarely listening to my body's needs, and I certainly had no killer instinct. Then I realized something interesting. In my 30 years as a solo singer, in pretty rough places, if there had been any hecklers, instead of retaliating, I would look them in the eyes and smile. This always worked, so I developed further that way of dealing with the 'enemy'. I know many people who have overcome their illness because they have reached an acceptance, understanding or forgiveness of someone who has hurt them. Just as drugs or a surgeon's knife cannot cure a broken heart – love and forgiveness can.

I put trust in my progress. By how I felt, by what friends and psychic healers sensed, the encouraging events that occurred, and with PIP & ISIS Scans which identify and photograph energy blockages in the body.

Many things came together about mind and body connections, and so when I came across Brandon Bays'6 inner journeywork, that was the beginning of my life-saving changes. As I spoke of emotional pains, I was asked where I felt these in my body. To my surprise I felt them in my tumour and then had flashbacks of related incidents. I shed many tears as a resolving process began. Then I became aware of my throat and released yet more tears. Feelings that had been trapped there for a very long time just rose to the surface, and I felt them go. Directly afterwards I felt a wonderful warmth and tingling in my breast and I knew something wonderful had happened. I had at last got in touch with that part of me that was distressed, and my healing had truly begun.

I had always noticed how my appetite would return as I was singing my last song of the evening, and my bowels would settle a few days into a holiday. My throat troubled me if I was upset and I knew that the series of mild knocks to my left breast over the years had many emotional connections too. I think my breast became my vulnerable spot and, along with other factors, led to a total breakdown of those cells. According to acupuncturists, that part of the breast is on the stomach meridian. I can think of many possible connections related to aspects of femininity, nurturing, woman's role versus the working mum, I could speculate further. I investigated every possible link; this may seem futile, but the fact remains those incidents had occurred. My left breast was knocked at puberty, during games of squash, by children's elbows. There was a personal knock and in 1995, a harder one from a chest of drawers. Something else quite bizarre – 1997, my car took three knocks on the left side!

Although I fixed the first knock on my car, I decided not to have surgery because I felt I must resolve the cause of the lump in the breast or I would likely grow another one, maybe even in one of my secondary weak spots. This is exactly what happened.

In January 2001, I was suffering some grief and had a lump in the throat feeling. It developed into a real lump. At that time I was training in meridian energy psychology techniques (EFT) which access negative feelings, their energy connections with parts of the body and clear them very quickly and effectively. So I knew what to do this time, I had a tool and successfully used it. I had the lump checked out with a biopsy. It was not cancerous, and is long gone. Whether it had been, or would have been, I really don't know but I was not taking any chances.

Overcoming The Shock

My methods of healing were following a natural logic, but there was still one outstanding factor. Like so many others, it was the enormous shock that had been the trigger in my already weakened immune system, that I still needed to overcome.

Like treats like; that which causes, also cures. I knew this from my homeopathic training, and realized this principle in some way runs through all natural therapies. I had stopped suppressing my feelings, 'home truths' were welling up inside me and releasing, revealing new thoughts and perceptions. Whether these occurred during spiritual/Reiki healing, homeopathic treatment, etc., or just by talking with someone, it seemed that an extra energy was necessary to help me overcome these obstacles. I had never allowed such help before. It seemed like the difference between sympathy, which is giving the opposite to what you are feeling – words like 'think positive' – and can cause a pressure to oppose, and empathy, where the same moment resonates and is shared until it changes. The 'shock' hadn't made sense, but it still needed releasing. Then I realized its connection with the very first knock to my breast all those years ago, and I howled. Something inside clicked and 'like treated like'. Many, many hugs and tears later, that needed no words or actions, I finally released all my sadness, shocks and fears until I knew I was healed. Everything at last had come together and I felt at peace.

It was vital that many of my beliefs and perceptions changed. I had read years ago of an American lady called Louise Hay7 who had also healed her cancer. Her famous words were: "It's only a thought, and a thought can change". Many of my thoughts changed too, thanks to energy medicine, which reaches beyond our limited mind logic. I do not believe thoughts and emotions cause cancer but reactions to them play an enormous part. For me it meant dropping my pride, saying a few 'Sorrys' and doing a lot of things very differently.

I had to learn to 'accept the things I cannot change, find the courage to change the things I can, and gain the wisdom to know the difference'. That was a major part of my cure. Many of us go for medications or surgery – maybe fear or lack of awareness leads us that way – but inside we usually know what we really need to do to feel better, and when we feel better, we actually, on some level, are getting better, slowly. I was not going to leave it too late, I had a deadline now.

Even after I knew my tumour had stopped growing, I continued with these wonderful moments of releasing negative feelings and felt myself reaching greater levels of well-being. I feel my tumour is like a vent now, an outlet, likened to a wound that will heal when the inner condition is right. I always observe this phenomenon with my clients. As I initiate an energy link between the feelings and the body, a process begins. The sensations increase as the blocks clear, and the energy begins to flow freely again. There are moments of twinges or tingling, then suddenly there is a feeling of great release.

The Key to Overcoming My Cancer

I believe the key to overcoming my cancer was with me. Just as there is no one-for-all diet, there was no magic potion that was going to sort out my life for me. I overcame the thoughts and conditions that led up to it and accepted ongoing situations I could not change – they were really not worth dying for. Thoughts that seemed unsolvable did change. I also know that if you have a passion inside you to do something, you must and can do it, somehow or other, then the most extraordinary things happen, and you feel so good. Then, when you have got your life back in balance, whatever treatment you choose for your cancer will stand the best possible chance.

All along the way I believe it was my intention to be well again that got me through, not will-power. That is great for short-term things, but eventually it makes you fight against yourself, hence autoimmune disease. Nor was it positive thinking. I was always too positive and ignored reality. When I finally 'got real', then I found true strength and determination.

I am 55, vibrantly healthy and contented and my tumour is still sitting there nine years later. It occasionally gives me a little tweak, like the warning light flashing in the car, and I take a look under the bonnet. I know I chose an extraordinary route and I have probably done far more than necessary, but I was fighting for my life. I have learned so much about love and life that I could not possibly have learned any other way and share a view similar to others who have overcome serious conditions. I thank you cancer, for transforming my life.

References

1. Clark HR. PhD, ND. The Cure for All Diseases. ProMotion Publishing. ISBN 1-887314-02-4. 1995.
2. D'Adamo P Dr. Eat Right 4 Your Blood Type. Penguin Putnan Inc. ISBN 0-399-14255. 1996.
3. Jensen B. PhD. Nutritionist. Tissue Cleansing through Bowel Management. Bernard Jensen International. ISBN 0-960836-07-1
4. Butler HB. Your Breasts – What Every Woman Needs to Know Now. TASK. ISBN 0-9519279-1-5. 1993.
5. Simonton OC. MD., Simonton M and Creighton LJ. Getting well again. Bantam Books. Transworld Publishers Ltd.
6. Bays B. The Journey. Thorsons. ISBN 0-7225-3839-1. 1999.
7. Hay LL. You Can Heal Your Life. US Hay House Inc. 1984. ISBN 1-870845-21-8. UK Eden Grove Editions. 1996.

Further Information

Meridian Energy Therapies (EFT & ET). www.AMT.com
PIP & ISIS Scans. www.resolutions.org.uk