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Last week I was invited to talk at our local Women’s Guild on the topics of both Homeopathy and Reiki. As is the normal practice at the beginning of their meetings general information of upcoming events were given out and one of them included notice of the death of one of their members.  As they held a minute’s silence I took time to reflect on how grief affects each and every one of us throughout our lives.

The topic of grief reminded me of a talk that I gave when I had been practising as a homeopath for a short while and was extolling the benefits of homeopathy to members of the general public who were keen to find out how they could use natural remedies for a range of problems.  The group, known as the South East Essex Homeopathy Group, was originally set up by a gentleman (retired school teacher) and his wife whereby homeopaths could explain its healing art and a wide range of topics were covered by myself and other visiting homeopaths over a period of years.

The Chambers Pocket Dictionary[1] gives this definition of grief

• 1a great sorrow and unhappiness especially at someone’s death
• b    an event that is the source of this
• 2    trouble or bother (was getting grief from her parents at staying out late)
• Come to grief colloq 1 to end in failure, 2 to have an accident

So where do we begin?  At some stage in our lives we have all experienced grief, whether as stated above it is due to a bereavement of a loved one, a family pet, the loss of a job, a disagreement with someone who that breaks your confidence or makes you feel ‘just not good enough’, problems with family members, exam nerves and so much more. 

It’s the way that we handle grief that is the telling point in our lives. Grief has many stages the initial one can be shock, followed by lots of crying, disbelief, anger and even resentment.  The most natural one is of course the initial shock, particularly if it is around loss of something/someone special. Within my homeopathic practice I always ask a new client if they have experienced any shocks or traumas throughout their lives, because invariably they will have, but the reason for my questioning is whether any of these shocks have left an unresolved mark on their emotional state as I have found that deep hurt or resentment can have a profound effect on their overall health.

Let us look at the remedies that I would associate with grief and why they are chosen. 

• Aconite      If the shock is very sudden this remedy helps to remove the initial effect so that the natural healing can take place;
• Arnica       An excellent remedy that follows on from Aconite for the shock and hurt associated with the initial grief.  The person will feel emotionally bruised by the events but will tell you that they are OK and there is nothing wrong with them, yet you will be able to see the shock and hurt in their eyes;
• Ignatia      This remedy is one that I use the most for the initial grief where the tears continue to fall.  Naturally we expect tears both during and after the grieving process.  If we were to take into account the loss of a job, the failure of an exam, friction within families as well as other factors listed above, then tears are a way of offloading that grief rather than keeping it hidden inside.  We often hear deep sighing as another way of expressing grief, sometimes referred to as ‘air hunger’. The people who respond to this remedy tend to be rather sensitive, excitable and somewhat nervous and once the tears have dried up the grief could be expressed as a dry, hacking cough and once the coughing starts it increases the desire to cough;
• Natrum Mur         The person who responds well to this remedy is one when they feel that crying in public is definitely not the thing to do so they will hide their grief and only show the slightest moistening of the eye or if they do release their tears, they will cry when alone.  I describe this to my clients as the typical British stiff upper lip because they tend to close down after grief and hiding their grief can make them become more introverted and if not resolved can lead to feelings of depression and isolation and resentment.   When I have prescribed Natrum Mur rather than release tears the person develops a cold, another way of releasing, and on their return they feel so much better once the cold has abated;
• Sepia         Aside from sadness, the feelings associated with this remedy is one of indifference, everything is too much and if the grief has been associated with miscarriage or infertility the woman can experience a low libido.  In a similar way to Ignatia, the tears flow freely from the person needing Sepia particularly when they are talking about their symptoms.  They feel physically and mentally worn out and will constantly worry and fret about all sorts of things and can feel that the world is against them since no-one understands how much they are suffering.   The Sepia person will feel so much better if they can be taken out of themselves, i.e. dancing because it helps them forget and improves their emotional state;
• Causticum             The person who responds well to this remedy is one that feels hopeless and despondent, always looking on the dark side of things and suspicious and feel that they have been betrayed.  Also their complaints are brought on by the fact that they have a tendency to hold a grudge and this can make then very argumentative and bitter.  They worry about their business and cannot tolerate any form of injustice.  Continually clearing their throat is a complaint associated with this remedy, as if they are choking on their feelings;
• Staphysagria         Feelings of humiliation are what this person will explain they suffer from, shame, and guilt and will feel very angry.  They experience violent outbursts of passion with a tendency to throw things about but once they have done this they will feel guilty and break down in tears. They are extremely sensitive to things said about them and so they would grieve if they have been in a situation where they feel they have done their best but it is not good enough and may have been humiliated and in turn their confidence drops to a very low level.   I have used this remedy to very good effect when someone presents with urine problems that has been brought on by the anger they have suppressed;
• Aurum      Grieving can be due to failure in business, they have worked extremely hard, are duty bound and industrious and so any failure brings on feelings of despondency and hopelessness. They will suffer silently and lose their love of life as their grief turns inwards and they criticise themselves for their wrong-doing and have a tendency to hide away from the world becoming broody and melancholic.
  I have worked with clients who have experienced business failure and have seen great improvements with the aid of this remedy.

You can see from the above that grief will manifest itself in a variety of ways and how we deal with it will be dependent upon the people we have around us to help us through any tough times, those who believe in us and offer us support and sometimes those that need to give us a ‘kick in the pants’ so that we can see our way through and take us out of ourselves, maybe a walk in the park to get some fresh air or taking a new course of action such as a new hobby. 

As I mentioned earlier I have given lots of talks to people over the years on a wide variety of topics and I found a letter written to me after my talk on grief – the words shown below made me feel very humble, I hope you don’t mind me sharing some of them with you.

Dear June,

I think we all must have had our emotions jogged at some stage that night but the sensitive and honest way in which you approached grief and bereavement was both moving and highly thought provoking  – thank you again

Aconite, Arnica and Ignatia listed above will certainly help anyone going through the early stages of grief but should it become deeper it is far better to explore it rather than let it fester inside and in order for the appropriate remedy it is important to seek the advice of a qualified homeopath.

Homeopathy works on all aspects of the body taking into account mental, emotional and physical symptoms presented by the person, hence why we carefully select a remedy with the aid of our Repertory[2] and Materia Medica.[3]

Homeopathy is gentle, non-toxic and non-addictive and can safely be used by all ages and does not interfere with any prescribed medication.

References:

1. Chambers Pocket Dictionary
2. Murphy, Robin ND, Homeopathic Clinical Repertory 3^rd Edition
3. Murphy, Robin ND, Nature’s Materia Medica 3^rd Edition