Positive Health Online

In the USA, a new president has taken office as the leader of one of the most powerful nations in the world. The opposition waits impatiently for promises that have swayed a nation to vote in a particular way to subsequently be broken; however it takes action by people to make policies work or fail; it is just so easy to criticise and do nothing.

Just a few days ago I was advised by my eldest daughter that I had forgotten my granddaughter's birthday. Last year I forgot my grandson's birthday and also my eldest daughter's important 40th. I had every intention of remembering these important days in the lives of my family but, having a mind filled with other things, I had forgotten when it was important to remember.

The point I am making is that 'good intentions' are not enough; they have to be backed by action to be of any value at all.

Let me give you some more examples:

In recent communications regarding requirements for Complementary and Alternative Medicine Regulation, a colleague and I disagreed with what was being proposed, but it seemed that we were almost totally alone in voicing our beliefs, as there were no other voices to support us. Then we received a message from a respected teacher saying: "Thanks Mike for your reply here – I am supporting you and K***, albeit quietly".

Unfortunately 'quiet support' is not heard, and therefore doesn't exist when the chips are down and votes are counted. The intention was good, but it lacked any substance; it might as well have been "Thank you for sticking your heads above the parapet to be shot at – I am glad it is not me."

Not standing up to speak out at what is unacceptable, inevitably allows the un-acceptable to be accepted; in a sense, this is support for the unacceptable action.

Some intentions are, on the face of it 'well intentioned', but the long-term effects can be inhibiting and damaging to one's confidence, affecting the course of one's life.

Some years ago my family spent a weekend at one of those family parks which had a sports complex. My younger son, my even younger daughter and I had donned roller skates, and I soon realized that, whilst my daughter and I were out on the rink, my son – pale and apprehensive – was clinging to the barrier. I asked him why he wasn't joining us, and he replied. "Grandma says that if I go out there I will fall over and hurt myself".

I asked him if Lana and I were falling over – he nodded.
Did it look as though we had hurt ourselves?  He shook his head.
Did it look as though we were having fun?  He nodded.

He went out on the rink and within minutes he was doing better than I was. He was having fun, developing skills and confidence, and within a few short years he became a very accomplished gymnast.

Grandma had been well intentioned, but she was in danger of setting the seeds of fear that could last a life time. Life is full of risks: some risks are a no-go area, some require guidance so that we can learn to navigate our way safely through life, develop skills, have fun. If we didn't learn from our experiences and move forward, we wouldn't get out of bed in the morning for fear of what may happen to us. We wouldn't apply for jobs for fear of failure; we would avoid relationships for fear of rejection...the list is endless. There will be many who are reading this who will realize that a well intentioned programme from childhood stops them from trying, so they don't experience failure, but neither do they experience the thrill and satisfaction of achievement and fulfilment.When imposing our intentions on others, let us carefully consider the implications.

Like many of you, I have on more than one occasion been asked to sign a petition to stop a war, stop the killing in Afghanistan, Gaza etc. When I have asked, "What is the proposed solution for the parties involved that I have been asked to sign in support of?" I have met with blank stares.

The intentions are good, but the parties involved in the conflict do not need to be reminded that innocent people are being killed; they already know that people are dying. What is needed is a solution that is going to stop the conflict – if possible a win-win solution. 5 million signatures saying 'stop the killing' is not going to make any difference – proposals for solutions supported by signatures might.

Good intentions by Governments to provide solutions to many of the third world's problems of starvation and disease take some understanding; one wonders how these were arrived at. It is a sad reflection on how 'good' these intentions are when promises are made by the members of G8 and G9 to countries in need, and other humanitarian and other important planetary topics remain unfulfilled – progress only being measured by the percentage of fulfilment of one country compared to the other countries.

The real losers are, of course the countries the promises were made to: hopes raised, thanks given, and then, and not for the first time, promises found to be empty. What were the intentions here, when millions of lives hung in the balance, depending on the integrity and promises of those that are better off?

In 2007 I asked one government spokesperson why they were so proud to advertise that they were giving to a particular African country less money than it would cost to purchase a house in Scotland at the lower end of the property market. The amount given was also less than one sixth of the cost of a sculpture built with public money on a roundabout on the A82!

Several weeks later, and after a number of requests for a reply I eventually received a response; however it skirted around the question of the given sum and pointed out what the government was doing for this particular African country.

As I had spent time in this country, been in its villages and spoken with its ordinary people, what was being proposed would not even scratch the surface of a country suffering death and malnutrition from failed crops (90% of the people in the country are farmers). They would tell you as they told me, what they needed was access to water for their crops, not for example, an improved TV service which would affect the 8 people in every 1000 people who owned TVs, and would not be included in those who were starving to death.

My last words to the spokesperson were:

"Water and irrigation, this is the way that ********* can really make an impact and major contribution; dealing with the real problems ****** has. It would not have as high a profile as what you are already doing but it would get to the heart of the problem and affect the lives of the majority of the people in a positive way.

If you had seen the maize and ground nuts of the villages wilting because of insufficient rains, and in my case being given ground nuts with thanks by a grateful village because I helped their chief, knowing that they couldn't afford to give them to me because they would be starving at this time of the year. No-one could be other than moved to tears, as I was.

If ******** can forget 'high profile' help, water is a major key to solving ******'s problems and it doesn't have to cost a lot, and it would help all of the population, not just a minority. I have already offered to speak with whoever is influential about this, perhaps our First Minister might like to discuss this with me if his heart lies in ****** in any degree, and wants to do something that will make a real, and positive impact on the condition of the people of that country. Please put this to the First Minister and let me know if he is prepared to discuss this with me. Thank you.

Two years later, I am still waiting for a reply.

We may not be able to change overnight the policies of a government, put right the wrongs of the world, but we can certainly start by putting our own beliefs and words into actions, proposing solutions instead of just finding fault, and standing up to be counted for what we believe in if we seriously want to make a difference. Without doubt we will make more enemies as well as more friends, but at least we will be able to look at ourselves in the mirror each morning with a degree of self respect.

I am starting right now by finding ways to make sure that I remember the days that are important to my family, and then acting on them. 'Good intentions' alone will not be good enough, and I will not get off so lightly next time.

Names of the countries were removed as the article is about 'Intention', and not 'Government Policy.